You want to go where????

Since Byron started going to AA 6.5 years ago, we have discussed on and off the idea of finding a church we think would work for us. We have very different backgrounds in religion and I am not sure either of us even know what we would want from a church with walls and rules and stuff. What we do agree on is that we want our kids to have some exposure to faith and the belief that there is a force bigger than us in this world. And we think that having a similar "higher power" would be good for us as well.

The biggest problem for me is that I grew up in a very restrictive religious culture. Church is not unfamiliar to me. I know about the bible and even though I have not attended a church since my teenage years, I do live according to a certain set of standards that are a result of my upbringing. It was all we did as a family for many years. We were at church twice on sunday, we attended church school 5 days a week, church on wednesday night, prayer service, choir practice, youth service, and revivals that were 7 days a week for weeks and weeks. All of the people we associated with were from the church. Church.was.all.we.did. And then one day we didn't. And I am still not really sure why we stopped going, but I do remember feeling relieved about it. Don't get me wrong. I do not have regrets about all of it. It is part of my journey. And if I am being honest, I would admit that for many years I thought I would be a preacher's wife someday. I suppose social work is not so far from that.......

It will be hard to go from such an intensely structured standard to the casualness of so many churches today. When I walk in to a church and see people wearing shorts or women wearing pants, I hyperventilate a little bit. And it has been 27 years! It is going to take some time to change the way my mind accepts a different model.

I have no idea how this will go, but we have been looking around and have a couple of places we are going to try out soon (like maybe even this weekend). Samantha is excited about it. Her bff's family has a very strong faith and she gets exposure from them. She is convinced this is a good thing. I am sure Cooper will be ok as long as people take the time to learn about what works for him. And Zachary.....well......he has decided that he does not need to go to church because he already knows everything about God. He knows that she is always around us and helps us with things. And I curse like a sailor. I have great fear of slinging a string of expletives in the house of God. That would be bad. Very bad! And you all know how I feel about having a day of rest. I hate hate hate having to jump up on a sunday morning and go somewhere. I am hoping that the benefit to my soul will outweigh my lazy spirit. Byron has decided that interrupting his morning sleep to attend church after getting home at 5:30am is worth it to him. So we are all going to suck it up and give it a shot.

What is the worst thing that can happen? I better not think about that........