Sleep is not over-rated! And now I understand addiction...

I need to sleep. I want to sleep. I can't sleep. 

I could post a really long boring summary about what is going on with all of this, but I will spare everyone and skip to the point.

People need to sleep. I have had a huge A-HA moment about this. Not sleeping can cause some very serious side effects and screw you up!! For about a year, I have had (worsened) symptoms that have either been disregarded by my family doctor, or not confirmed to mean anything. The symptoms (snoring, night sweats, wake up feeling hung over, morning headaches, night time and morning heartburn, morning nausea, never feeling rested, unusual fatigue, irritability, depression, memory loss, poor concentration, unexplained weight gain, inability to lose weight) are so common amongst women that the real cause is often undiagnosed.

This undiagnosed demon is sleep apnea.  Undiagnosed sleep apnea can lead to undiagnosed heart disease.  People die in their sleep from undiagnosed heart disease. The staff at the center scared the crap out of me!  And at the same time, the skies parted and angels sang. Finally!!  A reason. A confirmation that these things are not all in my head. And a realization that these are not just things that women have to live with as they reach a certain age (*gag*). 

And then I got mad. And I have been mad for a week.  And now that I know what is going on, I am more aware of just how little sleep I get, and of how rotten I feel.  And I feel 100%  justified in being mad. 

And the point.....

When I was at the sleep center, I had a particularly rough night. At one point, I woke up gasping for air. I could swear that a flow of cool crisp air started coming from a nose tube that was attached to me.  I remember thinking how odd that was because I was not told that could happen.  And I LIKED it.  It was the most amazing thing. I could breathe while laying down.  I cannot begin to tell you the ridiculous positions I put myself in at night in an attempt to breathe.  I fell back to sleep and forgot about it until the next night when I went to bed. And the obsession started.

I see the Dr. again on Monday. All I can think about is what I need to do to get that steady flow of cool crisp air through my nose and down my throat every minute of every day.  Was it real? Was I imagining it? I don't know. All I know is that I am now on a perpetual mission to get my fix.